Four Tops

Teething Teething usually begins on March 11 at 3:25 P.M., although some babies are off by as much as 20 minutes. The major symptom of teething is that your baby becomes irritable and cries a lot. Of course, this is also the major symptom of everything else, so you might try the old teething test, which is to stick your finger in baby’s mouth and see whether baby bites all the way through to your bone, indicating the presence of teeth. Most teething babies want to chew on something, so it’s a good idea to keep a plastic teething ring in the freezer, taking care not to confuse it with the frozen horrible things from bus station rest rooms (see above). The first teeth to appear will be the central divisors, followed by the bovines, the colons, the insights, and the Four Tops, for a total of 30 or 40 in all. Your pediatrician will advise you to brush and floss your baby’s teeth daily, but he’s just kidding. Quick-Reference Baby Medical-Emergency Chart SYMPTOM CAUSE TREATMENT Baby is chewing contentedly Baby has found something horrible on floor Follow enticement procedure described on page 61 Baby is crying It could be teething, colic, snake bite, some kind of awful rare disease or something Don’t worry: most likely it’s nothing Baby has strange dark lines all over face and body Baby has gotten hold of laundry marking pen Wait for baby to grow new skin Baby’s voice sounds muffled Baby’s two-year-old sibling, jealous of all the attention the New Arrival is getting, has covered the New Arrival with dirt Vacuum baby quickly; explain to sibling that you love him or her just as much as baby, but you will kill him or her if he or she ever does that again Chapter 10 ...»