Remix

What hits the market is sugary, sweet crap. The tracks beyond balanced. It's the junk food of boosted peaks. Plus, you have the new automatic interrupts. If at any time during a boosted peak your heart rate, pulse, or blood pressure exceeds the federal limits, the plug-in stops. Just a bunch of lawyers trying to cover the industry's collective ass. Sweetened, mellowed, nuanced, remixed crap makes the perfect gift. This is so beyond boring, but our top-selling experience for all of last year was called Cross Country Steam Train Excursion. No shit. A seventy-two-hour boxed set of plug-ins where you do jack shit except sit on a fucking train and watch the outsides stream past the window. You smell the upholstery, the cleaning fluid. The postproduction people didn't bother to damp out the chemical stink. The witness is Robert Mason, wearing wool pants you feel itch the whole trip. Wearing Old Spice cologne. The highpoint is, you go to the dining car and have breakfast, some greasy ham and eggs. Me making that transcript, I'd step off the train at every stop ...»