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Dave Barry’s Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever NeedFACTS AT A GLANCE Unit of Currency: The Doppler Barometer: Falling Motto: Vie Guessen Der Coninen Nicht Chompen (“These Dogs Probably Will Not Bite you”) Greece Greece is where we get a large amount of our Western culture. For example, Zorba the Greek came from there. So did democracy, which is made up of two Greek words, “demo,” meaning “people,” and “cracy,” meaning “wearing stupid hats.” The Greeks also gave us the Pythagorean theorem, although after we graduated from high school we gave it back. Getting to Greece This is a necessary first step. Attractions to See in Greece The biggest city that we have heard of in Greece is Athens. According to ancient myth, Athens was created when Poseidon, the God of Adventure, struck the ground with his trident, which upset Ramona, the Goddess of Humidity and Ranch Dressing, who told Dagmar, the God of Variable-Rate Mortgages, who got so mad that he punched Raoul, the God of Those Little Colored Things You Sprinkle on Cupcakes, and as a result Athens was formed. Of course we now realize that this is stupid. Nevertheless many important old monuments remain from this period, including the Metropolis, the Pentathlon, Monticello, the Telethon, and the Tomb of Reebok. All of these contain a great deal of very important architecture that you are welcome to chip off little pieces of for Show and Tell. Outside of Athens is another popular area known to locals as the rest of Greece ...» |
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